I think we have all met a toxic person before.
They try to control you, lie to you all the time, or just drain all your energy with their behaviour.
Perhaps they don’t do it on purpose. There might be a great reason for them to act as they do – but it is not your duty to help or fix them. Especially not if it chips away your own health and sanity.
If you really think you need to do something; ask them to seek professional help, and if nothing happens – get yourself out of there.
Today we are looking at toxic people, and how you can get away from them, and get back your sanity. You might not notice they are toxic at first, but as soon as you notice the signs take a breather and talk to yourself; is this something you want to be a part of?
First we will look at what a toxic person actually is, and then how you may get away from that person. In this case; a toxic relationship or toxic person can be anyone – family, friend, or significant other.
Beware though: just because someone has some of these it might not mean they are completely toxic, they might just need a helping hand with noticing it, or as I said before; need a professional hand.
You may also watch this on my YouTube Channel (as always)
Signs that someone may be toxic:
- They try to control you: They might manipulate you to make sure they always get their way. It can be by crying until you say yes, or simply not accepting a no. They might also try to guilt trip you, to make you do their bidding.
- They lie: Most people lie once in a while, but a toxic person might do it all the time. Spinning stories about things that never happened or lying about why they are late or can’t come.
- They are delusional: This point ties well into the lying part. They might actually believe their own lies, making the lies almost believable – perhaps the have told the lie enough times, or they simply remember incorrectly.
- They attract drama: “Somehow” drama follow them where they go. The most important thing in their life is gossip and they gladly spin stories about things that has or has not happened.
- They are negative: They can drain your energy completely with their negative behaviour. Nothing is ever good enough and they might criticize or bully the people around them. They simply seek out the negative in life, and if something good happens “something bad will probably happen soon”.
- They are never happy for you: They simply cannot seem to congratulate you when something good happens, often because they think it is unfair how you have such a great life while they are miserable. They gladly play the victim and will minimize the weight of others’ problems to feel better with themselves.
- They are selfish: They will not do anything unless it serves them a purpose and will gladly push others to the back if it benefits them. They always have to win and expect to be treated better than others.
- They are hypocritical: They will tell you everything that is wrong with you (or themselves) but never seem to do something about it because it is “out of their control” – even if the problem is self-made. They gladly criticize you but cannot take criticism at all.
What can you do:
- Accept the facts: Though this sounds cliché, you will have to accept the fact that they are toxic before you can actually do anything. If you have tried helping them by making them attentive about their own behaviour or asked them to talk with a professional to no avail, it is out of your hands. That person will not change, and you need to stop justifying their behaviour.
- Clearly break it off: You need to make sure that person understands that you do not want anything to do with them anymore – no matter how harsh it seems. If you dilly dally and don’t tell it as it is they might come back to you and that will benefit no one.
- Do not become like them: If you just broke it off with a toxic person you might end up with a feeling of regret, anger, or resentment. Why did you “waste” your time with them and look at what you could have done if it were not for them. Those thoughts can be dangerous as it spouts negativity. Forgive them and forgive yourself. Then get going with your life.
- Do not romanticize the relationship: You might have had good moments in the relationship – almost every relationship has good moments – but be careful not to dwell on them. Telling yourself “It wasn’t so bad” or “maybe it will work if we try again” will not help anyone. See the relationship as it was – toxic, though with good moments.
- Delete them: Stop following them on social media (or IRL – AKA. Delete their phone number too). If you linger and “just have to see what is up with them” you will not move on. You will just feel bad by stalking them, and those negative feelings will negate the whole purpose of getting away from that toxic person.
- Put yourself first: There is a good chance that you have been neglecting yourself if you have been in a toxic relationship. Take this time out and find out what you actually enjoy in life and what will make you happy in the long run.
- Find new friends: That toxic person you just stopped seeing may leave a spot open for a positive and amazing new person. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself out there to find new (and good for you) people to spend time with.
- Celebrate: You just got rid of a toxic person in your life – why not celebrate? Losing or cutting ties with a friend can be hard so instead of feeling sad, angry, or resentful; celebrate! Celebrate the fact that you were independent enough to say no, that you put yourself first, or that you finally put your foot down. You did well – So show that to yourself.
I hope you don’t recognize any of the behaviour of toxic people in someone near you, but if you do; do your best to get away from them. Ones quality of life can really decline if we feel like our energy gets sucked out and negativity is all around us.
Do you know anyone like this or have you ever “broken up” with a toxic person? I would love to know so leave me a comment down below!
I hope you all have a happy life, one day at a time!